


When Everything Stays

by seamonster



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst, Older Dipper Pines, Post-Weirdmageddon, but the idea just struck me so, here ya go, i hate reading angst personally, idk why i wrote this, read at your own caution, sort of a happy ending i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 01:04:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seamonster/pseuds/seamonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A near-death experience leaves Dipper suddenly able to see and talk to the dead. Why?</p><p>Because life is unfair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Everything Stays

"Rise and shine, princess!"

Dipper's sleep-crusted eyes snapped open quicker than they probably should have, and he regretted it in earnest when his bedroom curtains were yanked open to the sun barely rising.

"Out of bed, sleepy-head! You're going to be late for school!"

"What?!" Dipper shot up from under the covers and yanked his alarm clock around to face him. Then the panic drained from his limbs like air out a balloon. He was most certainly not going to be late, he had over an hour to get ready.

"Gotcha~" Mabel sang with a wide smile, opening his closet to start going through his clothes, presumably to pick his outfit out for him.

Dipper ignored her and sighed, flopping back against his pillow and closing his eyes again. It was way too early for this.

Behind his eyelids, a bare imprint of his dream was drifting away, leaving behind nothing but that same feeling of emptiness somewhere in the area of his diaphragm and a sigh on his lips. That alone was enough of a hint to tell him what he'd been dreaming of. Well, that and the fact that he'd been having basically the same dream every single night for the last two years.

"Come on, bro! Get that butt in gear." He felt Mabel hop onto the end of his bed. "No going back to sleep!"

He had to take another moment with his eyes closed, repeating Dr. Wendell's advice inside his head firmly before he finally got out of bed.

His bones ached, even at his still-tender age of 14. Even years later, his knee ached painfully when he stood. He just had to take it one step at a time though, like every other morning. He had this. He was _fine_.

At the foot of his bed, Mabel had laid out his favorite tee-shirt and his favorite jeans. The girl herself moved to the window when he got up and stared happily at the outside world, giving him enough privacy to change. Dipper didn't put on the clothes she'd laid out though, instead he half-heartedly picked out an old flannel and a random pair of pants. He didn't announce when he was done either, just moving into his adjoined bathroom to start brushing his teeth and hair.

Mabel joined him pretty soon after that.

"Good morning, Dip-Dip! Did you sleep okay?"

No Answer, he just stared blankly at himself in the mirror while slowly brushing his teeth.

This didn't bother Mabel though. "I hope you didn't forget about your oral test today in Spanish. I mean, I'm sure you didn't. You never forget anything. Anyway, I think you'll do really well, even the teacher complimented your pronunciation." Mabel lifted herself to sit on the wide counter, where a second sink sat gathering dust. She kicked her feet as she began reciting words and phrases she thought Dipper might have to most difficulty with, because 'hearing them again won't hurt!'

Dipper tried to zone her out, he really did. But his brain automatically paid attention anyway, in case he did have trouble with those specific words later. It was like he couldn't help it. But just because he couldn't zone her out, didn't mean he had to engage.

When his teeth were clean and his hair was somewhat tidy, he left the bathroom to pack his bag for school.

Mabel followed him downstairs, like always, but now she was retelling what the cat had been doing all night, happy and oblivious.

Both of his parents were already gone to work, but mom had left a note with his breakfast. It was the usual 'Have a good day! I love you!' with an added 'This came for you in the mail.' It was a large, tan envelope next to his plate. The neat cursive written on the front gave away the sender without him even having to look.  
It was the third letter Grunkle Ford had sent to him that month, which was more than usual. It was thick, too, which meant he'd probably included photos of whatever part of the country him and Stan were currently sailing through.

Dipper didn't open it, he never opened them anymore. He didn't even react when Mabel snatched it up.

"Another letter from the Grunkles! I can't wait to find out how they got out of that predicament with that tribe of headhunters. Want me to read it aloud?"

Dipper just chewed his food, so she read it to herself.

The day passed much in the same way they had been. Dipper focused acutely on his school work, even though he had no real interest in it. It gave him something to focus on though, and Dr. Wendell said focus was good. He had to focus on 'real life'. Mabel cracked jokes and made witty observations in every class. She didn't always stay with him, but when she did leave, she was always back again by the next period. She looked so out-of-place a midst teenagers much taller than herself, but Dipper forced himself not to notice.

At home, his dad asked him the usual round of question about school, and here Dipper had to try harder. His smile was forced, but it was there. And his father was happy to hear about him acing his Spanish Oral, saying they had a natural linguist in the family. Mabel wouldn't stop gushing about how well he did. At dinner, it was his parents who spoke the most while Mabel listened raptly.. Then a shower, pj's, homework, and bed.

Before he passed out, he swallowed one of the pale blue pills Dr. Wendell had given him to help him sleep without dreaming. Mabel pouted at him the whole time.

Then she sang him to sleep. It took every ounce of exhaustion in his body taking over his mind to stop himself from crying ...again.

 

\----- 

 

It had been three weeks since Dr. Wendell had urged him to focus on reality. To let sleeping dragons lie, as it were. But he obviously had no fucking clue how difficult that was when you had a sister who was _very good_ at being nearly impossible to ignore.

She was bouncing with excitement at the breakfast table. It was their birthday, the big one-five, officially time to start learning to drive. Today, Dipper's class was taking a field trip to the Museum of Natural History. Then his parents were taking them all out to dinner after school and work. Mabel was going on and on about how excited she was to see the dinosaur bones, which weren't as cool as seeing living dinosaurs trapped in giant globs of petrified tree sap, but they were still pretty cool. I mean have you seen how big those skulls can get? Honestly.

Dipper's fork shook as he ate his pancakes, his whole body was shaking and he felt vaguely like he wanted to vomit. Finally, it came out of him.

"Mabel?"

His voice was a little hoarse from lack of usage that morning so far, but Mabel stopped talking immediately.

"...You said my name."

Dipper cleared his throat, putting his fork down. "Yes, I did."

Mabel's sharp gasp made his stomach turn. He couldn't even look up at her wildly grinning face. "You're speaking to me again!"

"Yes--I mean no, I uh." Dipper rubbed a hand over his face, his eyes mostly, and got straight to the point. "Do you think you could stay home today?"

"Stay home?" Her tone of voice was obviously confused. "But you love the Natural History Museum."

He had to clear his throat again. "Yes, I do." Or did. "It's just that the trip is for a really big project, I need to make sure I can focus on the assignment..." Even to his own ears, it sounded like what it was. An excuse. A pretty thinly veiled one. Either the last two years had numbed him to the feelings of others or he was just too exhausted to care anymore. Either way, it was obvious that Dipper did not want Mabel there.

Mabel was quiet a moment, unmoving, and Dipper tried to ignore the shiver that went up his spine.

"Oh," Was all she said at first. "Okay, yeah. Sure, I understand, Dip-Dip. I guess I can be pretty distracting."

He simply nodded, putting his plate in the sink and grabbing his school bag.

"Alright, um, have a good trip, then!" Mabel still followed him to the front door.

Before he left though, Mabel's voice stopped him. "Dipper? Does ...does this mean we can start talking again?"

He couldn't turn around. Her voice held so much innocent hope that it gouged at his already tattered heart. Tears stung his eyes as he didn't answer, just left. Closing the door without glancing back.

 

\-----

 

  
Dipper didn't see Mabel again for the rest of the day. He saw others, while he was out on his fieldtrip, but he ignored them and they ignored him. The way it should be. Dinner with mom and dad had been fun, and his mother only had to excuse herself to the ladies room once this year, eyes glassy. He decided to take a chance and not take his sleeping pill that night. He wasn't supposed to be taking them every night anyway.

Without Mabel singing to him, the room was uncomfortably quiet and it took him a long time to fall asleep.

However, it didn't take him very long at all to wake up in cold sweat, a silent scream burning his throat, lungs struggling to take in air. He quickly rolled over and fell out of bed, barely making it to the toilet before dinner and cake came surging violently back up his esophagus.

When he was done vomiting, he sat there on the bathroom floor, limbs shaking and tears streaking his face. That had been one of the more vivid nightmares he'd had. He'd been almost certain that he could still feel the blood between his fingers. Warm and thick and _wrong_.

He gave another dry heave and smacked the rim of the toilet. He had to stop thinking about it. Put it out of his mind, out of his mind, out of his mind. It was a moment before his body settled enough to convince him he wasn't going to hurl again. He should've taken a damn pill.

"They're getting worse, aren't they?"

Mabel nearly sent him into cardiac arrest, even though her voice was soft. He jerked around and finally noticed her sitting in the bathtub, knees drawn up to her chest, face half-covered by her sweater's collar.

"The nightmares are getting worse."

Dipper looked back down into the toilet, flushing it's revolting contents.

"...It's my fault, isn't it?"

Dipper looked up at her again. Her whole face was hidden in her sweater collar now and she was slouched in resignation. For once, Dipper wanted to say something. Only, he couldn't think of what.

"I shouldn't have stayed," Mabel continued, obviously not expecting him to answer any more anyway. "It was so stupid, I just ...I couldn't let it end like that. After everything we'd gone through. After Bill... But I'm just hurting you, aren't I?"

Two brown eyes popped out from the sweater collar and caught his gaze. Dipper wasn't able to pull his mask of emotional numbness down quick enough, he was still shaking. And that look said it all for Mabel.

She pulled her collar down, lips drawn into a thin, joyless smile.

"I'm sorry, Dipper. ...Happy birthday."

With that, she dissolved quickly, like fog in a breeze. The tub showed no signs of her, even though Dipper scrambled up to check.

He wasn't sure why, but he felt even more empty than before.

 

\-----

 

  
Dipper didn't have to go to school that day, but he still woke up early. Mabel wasn't there. His curtains were still closed and all of his clothes were still in his closet. For a while he just sat there in silence.

When he got dressed, it was something nicer than usual. He'd paused while looking for the right shirt to touch a hand-knitted dinosaur sweater. He'd been able to wear it last year, but he'd hit a growth spurt since then. It no longer fit him.

His parents hadn't gone to work either, they were both waiting downstairs in matching looks of somber, though they tried to brighten up when they saw him. His mother had made chocolate-chip waffles for breakfast, with whipped cream and strawberry syrup. They ate it quietly.

In town, they stopped at a florist. While his parents picked up the arrangements they'd ordered, Dipper headed next door into the dollar shop. He bought a tube of pink glitter and several plastic toy dinosaurs.

For the rest of the car ride Dipper sat in the back seat, flanked by beautiful and colorful flower arrangements. He took the dinosaurs out of their packages and just held onto them.

About thirty minutes later, they were parking at the hilltop cemetery. Dipper trailed behind his parents as they walked between the tombstones of stranger's loved ones. Finally, they reached a tombstone of pure white and Dipper smiled.

"I see your great-uncles have already dropped by," his father said.

Sure enough there was a cupcake with pink frosting, some seashells that glittered in an array of colors under the sun, and a crudely carved wooden figure of a pig. The stone had also been cleaned of any dirt or debris and shined like new.

"I wonder when they got into town?"

"I hope they drop by later."

While his parents arranged their flowers, Dipper kneeled down in front of the tombstone. He ran his fingers along the letters carved into it's surface, even though he knew them by heart.

 _Mabel Pines_  
_August 31, 1999 - September 1, 2012_  
_Appreciated in her time._

Taking the dinosaurs out of his pockets, he lined the figures up next to Stan and Ford's gifts. Then he uncapped the glitter and began dusting the general area with it.

When they were all done, the three of them stood back and admired their handiwork.

"Perfect," Dipper finally said.

 

\----- 

 

They stayed at the cemetery long enough for his mother to begin weeping, leaving for home soon after that. His father suggested ordering take-out for lunch and Dipper agreed, his mother disappearing into their bedroom to tidy herself up.

Dipper decided to do the same, not feeling very comfortable in slacks. He went upstairs to change.

Mabel still wasn't there, and Dipper was finding that her absence was starting to eat him more than having her around. He changed into his favorite jeans and tee, then went to the bathroom to splash his face with some cold water. He was doing good so far, hadn't cried yet.

Just as he was about to leave though, he paused and looked in the empty tub. Then he glanced up at the door at the other end of the bathroom. Just looking at it made the saliva in his mouth harder to swallow.  
But he was doing good today, so maybe he could finally...

Dipper squared his shoulders and marched himself over to the door, grabbing the handle. He couldn't move for a moment after that though because that agonizing emptiness clamped down on his guts.

"I can do this," he said quietly to himself. "I can do this."

He squeezed the handle harder and turned it, letting the door swing inward.

The air in Mabel's room was stale, but sunlight poured in from the window. Dipper suddenly felt very nauseous. Nothing in the room had changed much. His mother went in every so often to air it out and dust, but so far his parents left everything right where Mabel had put it down.

Weeks after the accident, when Dipper had finally been allowed to go home from the hospital, he'd hobbled in there with his crutches, dragging what they'd been able to salvage of Mabel's belongings out of the bus's fire. He'd hung up her last few sweaters, tacked her posters onto whatever part of her wall still had space, and stashed her grappling hook in her desk drawer. On top of her desk, he'd left her partially singed scrapbook.  
He hadn't stepped foot in there since.

"How was the cemetery?"

Her voice didn't surprise him this time, mostly because he'd already caught sight of her. Although Dipper had never seen her look the way she did now.

Mabel sat in her window seat, but you could hardly see her. She was wispy and transparent, the way Dipper had seen some ghosts looking while he was still in the hospital. Those first ghosts.

"Stan and Ford left you some gifts. Stan even carved you a Waddles out of what looked like driftwood."

Mabel smiled faintly at the mention of her pig. "I guess I'll be seeing him again soon."

Dipper bit his lip, slowly walking over to sit on the bed.

"So you really are going..."

She nodded. "I think it's for the best. I think I mostly stayed so I could make sure you were going to be alright. But I've overstayed my welcome. Besides, Grunkle Ford would probably have a few things to say if he found out I was still hanging around like this."

Dipper looked down at his hands. "I was never going to tell him."

"But you should."

He looked up again at that. Mabel was looked at him with an odd look of peace that he'd never seen on her before. Even wispy, she still looked exactly as she had the day they'd boarded that bus home to Piedmont, the day they'd left Gravity Falls for good. But she, like him, was different now.

They'd seen so many wonderful and monstrous things in Gravity Falls, faced more dangers than any twelve year old should see in their entire lifetimes. They'd grappled with evil, unraveled mysteries, and even turned back time itself. They'd stopped the apocalypse together, and they were supposed to grow up together. Not get ripped apart by a drunk truck-driver of all things.

"Dipper..."

His eyes burned and he couldn't stop the tears from pouring down his cheeks, nose suddenly stuffy.

"It's not fair." He barely managed to speak.

Mabel got up from the window seat and by the time she sat down next to her brother, she was a solid as he was. Her hands over his hands were cold and he couldn't smell her hair when she rest her head on his shoulder.

"You're right. It wasn't fair." Ghosts couldn't actually cry, but she sounded like she wanted to. "It was stupid and if I ever manage to get my hands on Time Baby, he's going to get the worst spanking he's ever had."

That made Dipper chuckle through his tears.

Mabel gently squeezed his hands after a little while, sitting up straight and looking at Dipper like she wanted to say something.

"What?"

"...I should go now."

"Do you have to?"

She nodded. "But Dipper, I want you to promise me something."

"Anything."

She got that far-away look of peace again and smiled as she stood.

"Dipper, life is huge."

"...Huh?"

"Life is huge. It's bright and it's colorful and vibrant. It's full of people you love and people you'll meet once and never see again. It's full of mystery and it's full of answers, too."

"I don't understand what you're asking."

Mabel smiled wide. "Dipper you're very special. Not just to me, or the family. Dipper, your life is meant to be _huge_. Please ....please let yourself be happy again. I know it will be hard. It will probably take a while for you to be able to think about me without crying. But I never want you to lose that striking spark you've always had. Promise me, Dipper."

Fresh tears made his vision a little blurry, but Dipper nodded. "I promise."

"We'll see each other again someday. And I want to hear about every adventure when we do."

He nodded again, eyes squeezing shut. "I promise."

When he opened his eyes again, Mabel was gone.


End file.
